They say you should never meet your heroes. They only let you down.
But I managed to meet Morrissey several times between 1994 and 2009.
Our worlds collided at stage doors, record signings and in hotel bars.
He was the perfect gent, polite, charming and slightly baffled by this clumsy Scouse oaf.
On one occasion he signed my arm and I got it tattooed. Well you would wouldn't you?
Anyway, I decided to write about Morrissey and what he meant to me.
And then I thought - what about all the other fans who've been lucky enough to bump into the Mozfather?
My story and theirs appeared in the book The Day I Met Morrissey.
And guess what? Morrissey actually liked it.
A few years later my second book was published: Morrissey International Airport - travels with a pop star and his people.
This documents my journey to ten Morrissey concerts around the globe.
Amazingly, both clumsy tomes did quite well and I'm down to the last copies.
So, here's the deal: buy one of the books from this site and I will ship the other one too.
Two for the price of one. I'll will sign them both - and even scribble something useless or useful on the envelope they come in.
March, April, May, he writes night and day...