Daydreaming wearing Vans like Vaseline…

Welcome to my new irregular column released each Saturday sunrise. Be here or steer clear…

 

Saturday 9 January 2021

Only a few days into England’s third lockdown and I’m dreaming of travelling. Trips we once took for granted: Glasgow, Edinburgh, or Wigan with its perfect pies and pints, are a world away.

For someone who likes galavanting as much as me, lockdowns are obviously restrictive.

In my school days I was constantly labelled a ‘daydreamer’ by teachers. It occurs to me now, as it did back then, that daydreaming can be quite a quality. The ability to think beyond what’s right in front of you. And these days what else is there to do but dream?

Such school criticism in 1981 stands me in fine stead in 2021.

I’m good at staring into space and seeing beyond the four walls. Of course I sometimes need a prompt. It’s not the most rock’n’roll thing I’ve ever done, but I’ve subscribed to National Geographic Traveller magazine.

I quite like the idea of being transported to the ends and edges of the planet without leaving Felton HQ.

Don’t underestimate the power of pretty pictures and wondrous words. So I’m imagining myself with pizza in Pisa and salad in Sardinia, in the future when all’s well.

Before the national shutdown I managed a last gasp essential trawl of book shops and found another travel tome right up my branch line. Check out The Railway Adventures by cool cats Vicki Pipe and Geoff Marshall.

I’ll let my feet do the talking…

This week brought an unwelcome realisation home to roost.

I’m now officially at an age where I have to watch my footing.

Just a pup of 47, yet wintery blasts see me treading gingerly over tumble fears.

The pressure is on to make the permitted once a day exercise count. But as temperatures plummet, pavements pose peril.

Walks around our Cumbrian village have me slip sliding like Bambi on ice.

That’ll teach me to dress like a 13-year-old skateboarder in Vans trainees with all the grip of Vaseline.

I’d have been better equipped scaling Striding Edge with a hangover. In flip-flops.

With running opportunities limited due to the hardcore weather, I’ve taken to late night walks.

Just me, a head torch, 35 layers of clothing, and a foreboding fear of the dark.

During this icy blast the best technique for safe strolling is to jump into the middle of the gritted road.

Avoid the black ice and keep clear of fellow pedestrians at the same time.

Let’s face it – we’ve all been taking road risks since social distancing became a thing back in March.

There’s an etiquette to it. Apparently.

Yesterday I kept a wide berth of a pensioner headed my way on a tight stretch of pavement.

I did the honourable thing jumping into the carriageway adopting a two meter distance from him.

“No mate!” he roared, “It’s me who should be in the road as I can see the oncoming traffic.”

So there you have it. Arm yourself with sturdy boots and this code of conduct the next time you hit the streets…

Dry January…

Seven Dry January days and nights under my belt with no signs of temptation just yet.

I’m a dab hand at these kind of endurance activities anyway. Mainly as they involve no endurance whatsoever, just a little planning.

My fridge is stocked with Becks Blue and Heineken Zero which tastes great served super cold as if shipped from a South Pole saloon bar.

There’s never been a better time to try dry.

Pubs are boarded up with sociable drinking as out of fashion as Blue Nun spritzer.

Like a cricketer “getting in” to his batting rhythm I’m content chalking seven days not out with bigger no-booze boundaries further down the innings.

The longest I went without alcohol was Dry January 2018, which flew through February only easing to a respectable halt halfway through March.

No point doing Veganuary as I already am one. A vegan that is, not a notable month-long observance. I’ve been vegetarian 30 years and vegan for just five months – a newbie to dairy-free.

Get on it. Save animals, mankind, the eco system, your health and protect jobs down the local tofu factory.

This weekend I recommend Katy J Pearson’s Take Back The Radio (Flying Mojito Bros Refritom mix) and Morcheeba’s Blood Like Lemonade. To listen to these top tracks just click on them.